Motherhood and Self Care
When it comes to moms and self-care, it can seem like the two don’t mix any better than oil and water.
What mother actually has the time to take for herself when there’s a miniature human completely reliant on you for all of their needs? Even worse, when we do manage to sneak away for five minutes, it’s difficult to turn off the “mom brain”.
Those peaceful moments of silence are snatched away with thoughts of an ever increasing to-do list, if dad remembered the little one can not have 2% milk, if Macaroni is acceptable for dinner again…. Not even a few minutes in and guilt is stealing away your self-care moment and reminding you of all the things you could be doing.
However, despite that nagging sensation, I encourage you to power through and commit!
Robbing yourself of self-care ultimately robs everyone else of the rested and replenished mother (who’s usually more patient and easy going…), so it’s important to make it a priority
5 Ways to Beat It
Mom guilt isn’t easy to battle though; I’ve yet to figure out a way to completely banish it altogether, but there’s definitely things you can do to quiet the noise.
- Understand the purpose. Your family knows you love them, so don’t feel that by doing something for yourself lessens that one bit. The purpose of your self-care routine isn’t to take away time from anyone, but to ensure the time you’re giving isn’t the “mombie” version of yourself.
- Understand you can’t pour from an empty cup. When you’re about to cave and ditch your quiet time to help out with your screaming toddler, remember that you can’t give from an empty cup. When you’re constantly giving and giving, eventually you run out and your family is impacted. Make sure you’re pouring back into yourself!
- Remind yourself that you’re not just a mother, and you deserve to cater to the other parts of yourself. It’s really hard to think of yourself as something other than a mom, but there are other facets of yourself that need attention too, and you might be depriving yourself by not meeting those other needs. Whether you’re an artist, dancer, cook or something else; those parts of yourself deserve attention as well.
- Know that your kids are durable. Yes, they might scream like the world is ending when you walk out the door, but children are resilient and they’ll survive the few hours you take to see a movie (without cartoon characters..or with, your choice haha). Keep the parting short and sweet, leave them with someone you trust, and rest assured that they’ll cry but only because they love you, not because you’re abandoning them. They’ll survive the ordeal.
- Find your Tribe. Try going out with other mom friends too when you’re taking a break. One, having company is a good reason not to bail out on something and two, they can reassure you that there’s no reason to feel guilty. Not only can they confirm it for you, but when your reassure them too, it helps to reinforce the thought in your own mind as well.
Rest assured, momma: self-care is not a selfish act. It’s probably one of the best things you can do for yourself and your family. Silencing the mom guilt is a difficult task but once you start making self-care routines a regular habit it’s much easier to fight it back.
About the Author:
Laneic Lavalle is a self-care and wellness coach for busy mommas at makeit218.com. After spending her first year trying to be and do everything under the sun, she was forced to take a step back and start making self-care a priority. Now her mission is to help other mothers who are burned out, or well on their way there, to making self-care a regular part of their lives, reconnecting with who they are separately of their children, and pursuing their happiness without guilt. Connect with her at makeit218.com or on social media. Facebook: Mynameisnotmommy Twitter: Mynameisnotmoms Pinterest: Mynameisnotmoms
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What steps have you taken to bring self care back into your mama life? Let us know in the comments! It might just inspire another mom.