Be The Boss by Kathy Buckworth

You are not the boss of me

Welcome to my new column, Be The Boss.


After writing Funny Mummy for over ten years, my focus, and much of yours, I’m sure, has shifted and I’m going to offering advice, humour, and (of course) commentary on how we , as busy moms, can take control of our family, business, and personal lives by acting as smart CEO’s of each of these areas. I thought an appropriate place to start would be at the beginning…at the beginning of my book “I Am So The Boss Of You”, which basically outlines my entire philosophy in this area. So, here it is, enjoy, and please join me in thanking the many smart women (and a few men) behind the websites who share my words with you.

“You are not the boss of me!”

Hey, Mom! Yes, you! The one running to the fridge to pour your eight-year-old son a glass of chocolate milk before he has an epic meltdown (just as you’re about to go out with your friends for the first time in six months). How many times have you heard that expression? Come on, you know you have. What’s that? You’ve lost count? Of course. I don’t care whether you’re a working mom, a stay-at home mom, a work-from-home mom, a single mom, or an empty-nest mom. It doesn’t matter if you live in North America, Europe, India, or on Planet Xenon. And it makes no difference whether your children are toddling, walking, or driving.

If you have children – any children at all – you have heard that annoying pronouncement several thousand times: “You are not the boss of me!” It’s been screamed at you by Michael, in the midst of his full-on tantrum in aisle three. It’s been spat out by Jennifer, followed by a delightful teenage stomp-stomp-stomp-slam. And it’s quite possible (you’re not entirely sure because you were sleep-deprived at the time) that little Maria strung those seven words together to construct her very first sentence, at the ripe old age of nine months. Just before she threw turnips in your face.

Oh, yes. You’ve heard that expression. We all have. In fact, we’ve heard it so many times, and for so many years, that we don’t really even hear it anymore. We tune it out. With so many choices and styles before us (and so many other moms waiting to offer, or publicly blog, judgment on our efforts), it’s not hard to see why we’ve been overlooking the obvious. After twenty or so years of parenting, even I was starting to distrust my own excellent instincts (four kids – all still alive, FYI). And then, in the middle of a two-hour meeting on how to use time more efficiently, it struck me:

Why are we working so hard to find the perfect way to parent when we already have an excellent model right in front of us? One that operates efficiently, effectively, and economically? One that millions of people the world over are already employing (though not quite in the way I mean)? One that goes through an audit process, for goodness sake? One that our dear children have been dropping hints about for years? It’s right there – from the mouths of babes, as they say: “You are not the boss of me!”

Oh yes, my little friend, I am! I am the boss of you, in every imaginable way. Physically, mentally, financially, parents rule – basically, we’re at the top of the food chain. We get to tell our children when to go to bed, and we get to choose their mealtimes and what is served at those meals. We select their extracurricular activities, and, for a (ridiculously) short stretch of time, we even get to pick what they
wear. Perhaps this generation of parents needs to take a moment to remind itself that we really are The Boss, El Presidente, Le Grand Fromage.

Excerpted from “I Am So The Boss Of You: An 8 Step Guide To Giving Your Family “The Business” by Kathy Buckworth, McClelland & Stewart, 2013. Available at Chapters, Indigo, Amazon, Kobo, and soon on Audible. This book has recently been optioned by Warner Bros. Television. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com and read “Be The Boss” every month.

Kathy BuckworthAbout the Author

Photo by CL Buchanan Photography

Kathy Buckworth is an award winning writer, public speaker, and television personality. She is the author of five books, including “The BlackBerry Diaries: Adventures in Modern Motherhood” and her latest, “Shut Up and Eat:Tales of Chicken, Children & Chardonnay”. She is a feature writer for Sympatico.ca in their parenting, travel, and auto sections, and is also a columnist for ParentsCanada, Womens Post, Ottawa Families, Dabble Magazine, and GoodLife. She also regularly contributes to national magazines such as Canadian Families, Disney Playhouse, and Oh Baby. Her monthly “Funny Mummy” column appears on 25+ websites across North America. She is a parenting correspondent for CTVNewsChannel, and appears on shows such as CityLine and The Marilyn Denis Show.

Kathy is the only two time winner of the Professional Writers Association of Canada Award for Excellence in Humour, and is the 2010 recipient of the Mississauga Arts Award for Established Literary Arts. She is the Managing Director of 4WordsComm.com and has over 18 years of corporate marketing experience, with CIBC, Royal Bank, Telus and Coca Cola Foods. She has acted as corporate/media spokesperson/social media consultant for blue chip companies such as Procter & Gamble, Research In Motion, Presidents Choice Financial and LeapFrog Toys. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow along at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth

Kathy Buckworth Award winning author, I Am So The Boss Of You, Shut Up & Eat, The BlackBerryDiaries Feature writer Sympatico.ca, (Travel, Parenting, Auto) Columnist for ParentsCanada, Dabble, GoodLife, DisneyJunior Blogger for Huffington Post Canada, Funny Mummy Syndicated Column CTV NewsChannel, CityLine Contributor.

Written By

Kathy Buckworth is an award winning writer, public speaker, and television personality. She is the author of six books, including “I Am So The Boss of You: An 8 Step Guide to Giving Your Family The Business” (Random House). Warner Brothers Television has purchased the rights for this book. Her books have been translated into Chinese, Indonesian and other languages, and are available on Audible.com and wherever books are sold. She is a columnist with Post City Magazines and contributes to the Metro News, Autofocus.ca, the Huffington Post, Zoomer Magazine, ParentsCanada, Canadian Living, the Travel Channel and GoodLife. She is the writer and host of the FamilyFocus series, and was a regular guest expert on CBC’s Steven and Chris, a regular contributor to the CTV Canada AM Parenting Panel, as well as appearing regularly on Breakfast Television, CanadaAM and CBC radio. She also delivers a bi-monthly travel segment (How She Travels) on Sirius/XM Canada Talks highly rated “What She Said” show. Kathy is a two time winner of the Professional Writers Association of Canada Award for Excellence in Humour, and is the recipient of the Mississauga Arts Award for Established Literary Arts. She was recently announced as one of Canada’s Favourite Moms by Canadian Living Magazine, and recognized by the Huffington Post as a top parenting Tweeter to follow. She has over 18 years of corporate marketing experience, with CIBC, Royal Bank, Telus and Coca Cola Foods. She is the Chief Family Advisor for Presidents Choice Financial and PCPlus, and has also acted as corporate/media spokesperson/social media consultant for many other companies such as Procter & Gamble, Maple Leaf Foods, Research In Motion, Pfizer and LeapFrog Toys. Kathy serves on the board of the Toronto Symphony Volunteer Committee, as their public relations advisor. She lives with her material (four kids) and husband (more material) in the Toronto area. She is a member of the Professional Writers Association of Canada, the Writers Union of Canada, the American Society of Journalists and Authors, and the Travel Media Association of Canada.