In my unending quest to get a couple of (gasp!) peaceful moments to myself, I decided this week to attempt a challenge. Mission: See how long it takes to write an overdue blog. Here’s how it went.
: (only because the outcome is totally predictable) I managed. Barely. And even that is questionable.
Now, if you’re a mom, you know that attempting to accomplish even the simplest of self indulgent tasks is often pointless. Hence, you should also know better than to bother trying, which is exactly why I have dared to push the limits: I’m dumber than you. Taking one for the team- that’s how I roll.
The idea behind this little operation came to me one night while I was doing what I’m doing now: attempting to write. Imagine that, me being so brazen as to think I could just sit down and type out a few useful and intelligible paragraphs. It’s actually a wonder I succeed at writing anything, considering I’m doing so despite:
- a zealous toddler, hardhat in hand, insisting I play “Wendy”
- various spillages and / or potty training debacles and / or tantrums
- a chatty husband, sharing details of his day while rolling down the top of a crinkly chip bag and maxing the tv volume
- some dude at the door asking if we need our driveway sealed
- my mom calling to say she thinks my headache is a sinus infection
- oh-crap-it’s-dinner-time-and-I-don’t-have-anything grocery runs
- nighttime pre-ovulation “trying to conceive” sex interludes (sorry dad)
…you get the jist.
The point is, it’s damned hard to write, and that bugs me. I mean, why? Why must it take several days of battling disruptions to do something so simple? It wasn’t nearly this hard to accomplish things when I was single and had my own place, and sometimes I resent it.
That’s not to say I want to go back. There are parts of being single I definitely don’t miss. But what a treat it was to come home from work every day, plunk my size zero butt in front of the computer, snarf some KD and just write. What I miss from those days (aside from having the size zero butt) is the personal time. With the exception of garbage bags tumbling down the chute directly outside my door, I had quiet. I had peace. I had two. freaking. seconds.
But no more.
As a side note, I have no idea how mothers of two or more do this kind of thing all the time. If you are one of those mothers, I applaud you. And I hope your next blog reveals the secrets of your got-it-all-together-ness for the sake of unworthy slouches like me.
So, let’s examine the average length of time needed for me to churn out one belated mommy blog:
: Squelched. It was my mom’s 60th birthday and family visited from out of town.
: Total writeoff.
: Failed: Got up at 6 thinking I’d get some work done before my son woke. Most days he sleeps until 7. This morning? Yep. 6.
: Failed again Decided I’d wait for my son’s nap and try again. Most days he naps for 2 hours. Today? No nap. Perfect.
: Aborted. Finally got the kiddo to sleep after an hour of refusal. Crashed with a nasty headache.
: Abandoned With thanks to what was probably the most torturous headache I’ve ever had.
See day 3.
: Failed: Got up at 6 again thinking this was finally it. My son got up at 6, too. Sensing a pattern.
: Semi-failed: Managed to get my son interested in a re-re-rerun of “Caillou Goes to the Beach” long enough to log in to the blog’s “write” page. Wrote two sentences, erased. Paused to take some ibuprofen for aforementioned headache. Wrote 6 sentences, pausing repeatedly to say “no” or “stop” or “don’t hit the t.v.”. Gave up, couched it.
: Meh: Got kiddo down for his nap just in time for my husband to come home. He had stories to share. And share. And share. Wrote a paragraph while listening, deleted it. Wrote another paragraph while trying to block out the penpal episode of M*A*S*H. Deleted it. Wrote two decent sentences while considering whether my mom was right about the headache. Realized we needed dinner. Succumbed to fate.
: 5 hours sleep + 8000 distractions + 2 Life brand liqui gels = 8 sentences.
: Didn’t happen: Figuring on another 6:00 wake up for kiddo, I decided not to bother trying. He slept ‘till 7:15.
: As if: 2:30 p.m., Unbuckled sleepy boy from the van. A non-napping buddy and his mom, out for a walk, decide to stop and chat. One sleepy boy no longer sleepy, one frustrated blogger and one neglected website. Again. On the plus side, my headache was gone.
: Debatable: You’re reading it now. Buckled down at 10:00 p.m. and made it happen while hubby watched Clash of the Titans, 2 feet away. Managed to keep my concentration as I’m not into Sci-Fi. I think it had something to do with Medusa?
: A finished, legible, semi-decent article that will hopefully make you forget it’s been over a week since I published anything.
Et voila. One mommy blog, ready to post 7 days later at 12:35 on a Saturday morning. Getting up at 6 should be great!